Just a year and a half after the Russians last hacked the Accredited Times, and the AT is immersed in yet another Russian hacking scandal. Just this week, Abu’s account mysteriously lost its publishing privileges, and no matter how many times I try to restore them, Abu still can’t seem to publish articles. Abu describes the issue in the following conversation (please ignore the confusing sarcasm by hungrypirana):
I’ve been up all night speaking to our contacts in the NSA to try to work out what the problem could be, and so far we’ve identified suspicious internet traffic emanating from both Russia and Guinea, along with 33 other suspicious countries. This is yet more damning evidence that the Accredited Times is under attack by the Russians yet again, but this time with Conde at the helm. Conde has been systematically suppressing Abu’s presidential campaign since its inception a few years ago, and as we approach the 2020 Guinea elections, his attacks are only intensifying. Conde has a long and dubious relationship with Vladimir Putin, and has been caught red handed meeting with Putin and receiving spam email from Russian servers, just like Trump, who is currently under suspicion of Russian collusion and obstruction of justice, and facing imminent impeachment.
I reached out to LaDarious to see if he could help, but unfortunately for us, after winning the 2018 most influential figure in technology award, he has since been awarded a very highly-paid position at IBM, and isn’t interested in dealing with us anymore. We’re working with the NSA to try to resolve this issue as quickly as possible, but if all fails, we’ll continue to do everything we can to promote Abu’s campaign, and make sure that Conde’s corrupt administration is ousted in 2020.
are you using two oars to paddle the boat?
You need to be clear about what you mean, hungrypirana. We’re just regular accredited journalists here and we don’t have a crystal ball to help us decipher your complex metaphors, analogies and sarcastic remarks.
its a harmless rhetorical statement. something that’s a one-way street for you commies. flag me, monster!
“Check your privilege” is also a rhetorical statement, but you seem to have a problem with that.
Why need a sarcasm flag I think. It’s not kind to mock people or to say things they might not understand.
Breathology and the resulting protein deficiencies have caused irreparable damage to his brain.
Please have pity on the dufus!
Kick Once! Not Twice!
HMMMM!!!!!!!!! This could also work as a campaign slogan pointing toward a gentler, kinder world!
So why don’t fruitarians have brain problems then? Fruit doesn’t have much, if any, protein either?
Great, MDB. You have made yourself cleared. My goal is to become the president of Guinea and help the people of Guinea by fixing things and bring peace and justice for all.
This could be a blessing in disguise Abu, because it will free up time for you to focus on your campaign. It’s time for you to start holding some rallies and doing some speeches. In the meantime, if you let your supporters know about the Accredited Times, we can continue to promote your campaign.
And build ice cream factories. Please make sure that gets done!
The Russians have also ramped up their economic depression doomsday propaganda over at ZeroHedge the past couple of weeks. It looks like ZeroHedge circa 2008 all over again.
You know what that means! BUY BUY BUY and vote Abu!
I basically got rich by fading their silly doomer advice. It’ll be the same all over again this time, mark my words. Zerohedge is the ultimate contrarian indicator.
Yes, the time is ripe to invest, especially now. Be sure to send a Hanukkah card to Chairman Powell this December to thank him for your newfound riches.
I agree, but it is wise to check in on the enemy here and there.
I might pop in there later today to impart some wisdom to those imbeciles. It’s about time someone set them straight.
Hmm, what is puzzling about Conde/ Putin’s tactics is that they are only partially blocking Abu from reaching his people. Abu’s comments seem to come through loud and clear; he seems only unable to contribute cogent and insightful articles.
The attack on ABU is attack on us all!
#jesuisabu
Yes – I think they want to keep a tab on what he says in the comments sections so that they can spy on his campaign. We need to keep an eye out for Russian trolls and flag them promptly so that the NSA can deal with them.
It’s like what China did blocking the media from reporting on Tiananmen Square. But China did it for the right reasons. Putin and Conde – not so much.
YouTube also ramping up censorship for all the right reasons. I just hope they don’t consider anti-white videos as hate speech, because they are not.
Molyneux is on the brink.
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/06/05/business/youtube-remove-extremist-videos.html
“Extremist” by definition means something that isn’t normal. Hating white people is normal, and therefore it’s not extremism.
A suggestion to Abu for his campaign slogan when he runs for the presidency of Guinea.
“Eat Pigs! Not People!”
It’s simple and easy to understand for uneducated Africans and points to a higher level of morality as well.
a win win over the usual unintelligible garbage like “Yes! we Can!”
“Yes! We Can” is the greatest political slogan of all time, by the greatest world leader of all time. Obama’s leadership pulled the globe out of the worst recession ever!
Yes We Did!
Obama Before
How he gonna do it?? How? What magic wand?
and now
An Obumbler tries taking credit for Trump’s policies
The Obumbler fixed health care so good that US life expectancy has dropped 3 years straight under Obumblercare.
On the bright side, there is now less pressure on the SS trust fund, after the Obumbler looted it for his failed economic programs.
Life expectancy dropped because of the opioid epidemic, which is a wypipo problem. White people dying earlier is not a bad thing.
The drug epidemic is more about Chinese fentanyl then oxi contins and codones
and the life expectancy started dropping under the Obumbler
Plants love CO2!
and plants are LIFE!
you anti-GREEN SATANIST!!!!!!!
CHECK your privilege!
Then STOP BREATHING!
So go back to Africa
He’s an African AMERICAN. He belongs here.
So! both of you go to Liberia!
Start a Family!
Abu better win or we’ll all be swinging from trees!
Abu also needs to campaign for the restoration of impalement as a punishment
because some people just NEED to be IMPALED!
Let’s hope that is a Freudian slip. Did you know there isn’t any statute of limits for capital crimes? And rest assured I’d tie your noose.
Get yourself a watermelon. They in season.
There you go again Hillary Clinton. It wasn’t trees, it was nooses.
#neoliberalism
Stop splitting hairs and get a life, you old buffoon.
I cant believe you said that Hillary swinging from trees is language wypipo uses to put blackpipo down is RACIST
He’ll have to get through our military first. Conde is a friend of Russia, and therefore an enemy of the United States.
Accredited sources that this is about the slinky Russian spy and the money –
I checked with my old MI6 contacts at GCHQ to see if they could explain Abu’s mysterious loss of publishing privileges. To cut a long story short, I’m sworn to secrecy. They don’t want to lose their privileged access to the CIA Cloud.
I’m not allowed to explain the reason for Abu’s intermittent sticky keyboard function seizures, but I do have the following statement for AT consumption.
“Tell Abu to stop eating his sandwich when keying articles into the computer”.
#racist
That’s racist Colonel. Abu is writing the best way he can in a racist society.
Plates were invented for a reason!
BLM, this one’s for both of us!