Washington, D.C. (Accredited Times) — The long wait is over. For months, political gossipers have fluttered about with speculation over Joe Biden’s potential vice presidential selection. Now we know: Biden has selected Karen.
“You ain’t black,” Biden said to Karen, explaining his decision before a gaggle of masked reporters. “Vote for Donald Trump, I mean, Obiden-Bama.”
Although Biden’s explanation left the few sober journalists in the room bewildered, Biden campaign aides soon “corrected” their candidate’s comments for the Accredited Times.
“At first, Biden decided to go with Stacey Abrams,” one anonymous aide explained. “But then Karen asked to speak to the manager. After a brief discussion between Karen and Chinese President Xi Jinping, Biden had no choice but to go with Karen.”
“If President Xi is happy, we’re happy,” said another Biden aide. “Hunter should make a lot of money off of the selection — and Joe too. Where is Hunter, by the way?”
According to experts, Karen has a compelling resume that should appeal to the Democrats’ target voter base.
“Karen is a strong woman,” one insider explained. “After the divorce, she took custody of the kids. For years she has juggled the responsibilities of a single mother and a shopper who asks to speak to the manager. She is exactly what Biden needs.”
Other experts were less sanguine.
“Biden has, how do I put this, a ‘hands’ problem,” a political scientist at Georgetown University opined. “He should have gone with Stacey Abrams. I don’t think he can control himself around Karen, who will definitely ask to speak to the manager once Biden puts his hand down her skirt or goose-steps around the pool naked. She’ll definitely turn him in for violating social distancing rules.”
“Karen is a great candidate,” he continued. “But Biden and Karen? Not so much. In my view, they’re headed for a quick divorce. She’ll take the kids — and the White House. All I can say is: thank God it’s not Hillary.”
Did one of Biden’s imaginary friends finally show up?
(He doesn’t have any real ones!)
#ageist
“Racism is the biggest issue of our time! among I agree with Bill Kristol. through I suppose you also think womyn should stay in the kitchen barefooted?!!?!?!?!?!?!111 around Another Holocaust! Just as”
#accredited-times-pick
Go hike the pike, clutch face.
Why paint your toenails if you don’t want them seen?
Yes!
I agree!
Many Blacks would kill me for pointing out that they are the defective outcome of thousands of years of eating the smartest ones in the group for Brain Mojo!
Evolution will not be mocked!
#ableist
As a member of the World Conquering Super Race created on the Island of Patmos by Big Brain Black Super Scientist Yakub, I feel no need to bow to the lesser races.
#islamophobic
Biden can’t run while mating with his running mate. He should get Stacey Abrams as his stationary mate.
#accredited-times-pick
they make love dolls for that.
Trump is a dictator! during Macedonian troll farms are spreading FAKE NEWS. up We need to safeguard our sacred democracy! behind This is a safe space. Though
Don’t toss your mask 😷😷 when Trump gives you the free vaccine. It’ll make a nice dunce cap.
It will make nice panties.
Bill has asked our leaders to wear masks as panties after the vaccine gets released.
Keep your words soft and tender in case you have to eat them.
“Nancy Pelosi NEEDS to IMPEACH Trump! Though Black Lives Matter! across David French is a REAL conservative. toward Defending the state of Israel is of paramount importance. Even if”
Someone put his balls in a vice to flatten the curve!
Are you tryin’ to make Al Sharpton seem articulate?
One! Two! Three! Much! ? Oodles?, ???? …. ??? … Many! Yes! Many!
just visited The Breakfast Club radio show Youtube channel
now i know:
all people of color are talanted geniuses of highest culture
all whities are dumb idiots destined to fail always being caught saying the n-word
Without the Benevolent Guiding Hand of the White Devil, Blacks revert to their norm …. Cannibalism
https://observers.france24.com/en/20121214-hellish-scenes-mob-killings-cannibalism-dr-congo-
Five men were attacked and killed by a mob in the middle of the night in the city’s northern Majengo neighbourhood. A FRANCE 24 Observer who works for a local radio station was at the scene the following morning and saw burnt corpses. FRANCE 24 journalists have viewed footage filmed that morning showing people crowding around the corpses and a young girl biting off a piece of burnt human flesh. The video was too shocking to publish here.
We had already heard, as we made our way to the scene, that people had been eating these corpses. When we got there, people could speak of nothing else – the fact that angry residents had eaten pieces of dead bodies during the night [FRANCE 24 does not have footage from that night, but we do have footage that shows decapitated dead bodies]. And it’s not the first time this has happened after a mob killing.
#hate-speech
They’d be here eating people!
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/africa/cannibal-restaurant-with-roasted-human-heads-on-the-menu-shut-down-by-police-9123693.html
Police arrested 11 people and closed a restaurant after two human heads wrapped in cellophane were discovered at a hotel restaurant that had been serving human flesh.
A tip-off led police to the macabre discovery in Anambra, Nigeria, with 11 people being arrested and AK-47 guns and other weapons being seized.
Human flesh was apparently being sold as an expensive treat at the restaurant, with authorities saying that roasted human head was even on the menu.
#hate-speech
Congratulations Anon, once again your blinkered cultural supremacism, bigotry and lack of ecological awareness shines through. Consuming human flesh is part of our eco responsible gastronomic future if we are to tackle the climate emergency.
https://www.msn.com/en-nz/news/other/swedish-professor-suggests-cannibalism-could-help-fight-climate-change/ar-AAGUTfY
China had advanced civilisation when you crackers were still living in caves, they too have long recognise the health benefits of consuming human flesh in traditional medicine:
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/southkorea/9250438/Pills-filled-with-powdered-human-baby-flesh-found-by-customs-officials.html
also traditional medicine practiced in London:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adam_(murder_victim)
Perhaps in a woke, green globalist future we may succeed in breaking this old taboo in backward formerly white majority countries. Pot luck with the Podestas and the Marina Abramović cookbook!.
Yet another person we can impale on the border wall as a degenerate scum, dual purposing the body as both vulture food and a deterrent to border jumpers.
Feeding vultures is an ecological must during these days of reduced travel and thus reduced road kill.
Think of the (vulture) children!
#domestic-terrorism
Trump gets stumped (first time ever)
#ageist
In the news
A Vitamin D deficiency increases chance of Death from the Wuhan Flu.
The Benevolent Hand of the White Devil has been producing cod liver oil for centuries in order to fix that deficiency
Have you had your cod liver oil today?
#fake-news
Due to their VASTLY inferior skin which is unable to produce Vitamin D in sufficient quantities, Blacks in the US are dying at a rate over 3 times that Whites from the Wuhan Flu. The lighter skinned Latinos are dying at a rate 2 times that of Whites.
Highlighting the inferiority of Black skin, the further away from the equator the higher the difference in the death rate. Milwaukee for instance reports a Black death rate 18 times that of Whites.
Have you had your cod liver oil today?
https://sg.news.yahoo.com/black-latino-americans-more-likely-075908130.html
While the national average was 3.57, Wisconsin had the highest disparity, with black people up to as many as 18 times more likely to die from the disease.
#racist
They’re predicting 45 people will die this holiday weekend in Chicago from COVID-19-related gunshot wounds — and they’ll all be voting by mail.
#obstruction-of-justice
The virus has mutated quickly into negro kids brandishing handguns, and certain “journalists” brandishing their bullshit.
#anti-journalism
IMPALEMENT is the answer to the dead voting!
rush limbaugh refuses to face GOD
looks like GOD insists though but still rush is resistant
being the true atheist i am confused
speak english?
Bow down before the SHIN OF ALLAH!
He will say, ‘I am your Lord,’ and they will say, ‘You are not our Lord.’ And none will speak: to Him then but the Prophets, and then it will be said to them, ‘Do you know any sign by which you can recognize Him?’ They will say. ‘The Shin,’ and so Allah will then uncover His Shin whereupon every believer will prostrate before Him.
So Allah’s SHIN is a wondrous SHIN, unlike any other. Unlike a baby’s, a child’s, a man’s, a woman’s and even the SHIN of a anorexic runway model. So BOW DOWN before Allah’s unique SHIN!
Allah will be serving Dead Donkey Water and Camel Urine afterwards.
It was narrated that Jabir bin ‘Abdullah said: We came to a pond in which there was the carcass of a donkey, so we refrained from using the water until the Messenger of Allah came to us and said: ‘Water is not made impure by anything.’ Then we drank from it and gave it to our animals to drink, and we carried some with us.
Majah Hadith No. 521
FUHCK MASKS!
FUHCK MASK-A-NAZI!
#domestic-terrorism
the more you wear a muzzle, the more you “socially distant” the more you depend on internet services the left think they in full control
#hate-speech
Learn to bash the leftists
Make them look like the FOOLS that they are!
Remember that if you take in the culture of Haiti, and start acting like Haitians, then you recreate Haiti somewhere else. Better to let Haitians screw themselves over, then to give them an opportunity to screw US over as well.
Some goes for for Somalis, Mexicans, Pinko Commies, the pre-pinko Commies known as Socialists, French surrender monkeys, effete British, and most of all Muslim rapefugee scum!
Otherwise this will also be a common event in the US
#islamophobic
Top Iranian diplomat comments on a man beheading his daughter!
This is just one of the many reasons I keep saying that
“IMPALEMENT is the answer!”
https://twitter.com/JZarrif/status/1265676751809757184
#islamophobic
Accredited Times needs to develop a ‘IslamoHATRED” flag!
#islamophobic
I propose a mosque with a pole stuck through it, surmounted with an impaled body clad in Middle East type robes and headgear. A long beard is also a must.
Make it a burning mosque!
I expect President Trump’s Executive Order will cause AT to turn over a new leaf, or flatten them like a dirty pancake.
#anti-journalism
The AT’s Hungarian philanthropist sponsor ought to bus in hundreds of Karens to ensure that protesters obey social distancing, and limit the number of looters in a shop at one time.
Looks like AT is crawling back into the hole it came out of BBQ ribs.
We can’t even attract decent trolls. Looks like we are stuck with you, Brony boy.
Better me than some Chinese looking for a cat or dog BBQ
cheetos
The future of libtardism is
Ooops… Error 404
fried shrimp
the future of libtardism is bright. they scared blm to death
More likely BLM was afraid that prison does not allow unlimited access to Big Buckets of Fried Chicken
chocolate
you know i wonder how you are able to write comments on the internet. director of your psychiatric clinic should be fired
Yakub protects me!
chocolate chip cookies!
Trying to pass a fake $20 (as tried by Mr. Floyd) does not seem to rate high up on the risk reward ratio
18 U.S.C. 471 – Obligations or securities of United States
Whoever, with intent to defraud, falsely makes, forges, counterfeits, or alters any obligation or other security of the United States, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than 20 years, or both.
$20 bucks or 20 years does not seem like a good risk reward ratio. All HAIL Mr. Big Brain, Black Scientist, Yakub for upgrading the Brain of the White Devil so that he is able to recognize this fact.
watermelon
In other news
Gun sales break records
ccording to Montana Public Radio, gun and ammunition sales across the U.S. were the highest on record this May, with over 3 million background checks logged by the FBI. To date, there have been over 15 million background checks in 2020, on pace to eclipse last year’s high of 28 million. Montana is no exception, as COVID-19 and national protest anxieties boil over. “I would say at least two-thirds of the record number of firearms sold in the last 60 days are first-time gun owners/gun purchasers,”
Something good has come out of the Floyd riots.
ice cream
My kind of Sheriff
Central Florida Sheriff Issues Warning to Potential Rioters: ‘Polk County Likes Guns’
if you try to break into their homes tonight and try to steal, to set fires, I’m highly recommending they blow you back out of the house with their guns.
fried chicken
Dung ding wong with this ding dong democrat
https://twitter.com/i/status/1267972847248576517
Obviously followers of Satan! The authority on shit!
french fries
Are we moving Pride Month to July this year?
I don’t think that I have seen a single rainbow logo yet in June 2020.
Blacks kill other Blacks and destroy Black businesses in order to protest the White killing and/or Heart Attack death caused by the Wuhan Flu and/or fentanyl, of a Black man.
Where is the pride in that?
Medical Examiner’s Autopsy Reveals George Floyd Had Positive Test For Coronavirus
A full autopsy report on George Floyd, the man who died after being restrained by Minneapolis police last month, reveals that he was positive for SARS-CoV-2, the virus that causes COVID-19. The 20-page report also indicates that Floyd had fentanyl and methamphetamine in his system at the time of his death
Antifa has a tank division.
but do they float?
bucket of ice cream
This is chief of the bulldozer division, DC’s mayor Bow-wow. Check out those bumpers.
Chief of steamroller division.
Resembles a baggage train to me!
extra big bucket of fried chicken
Now that it’s apparent AT has eaten itself, I’m pleased to announce my new gig answering hate mail at the Babylon Bee.
turns out blm was just a pathetic piece of crap
BLM is based on the Black race being special. it is a fact that the Black race is a blight on the planet. It is in fact the most stupid and most violent of all the races, and has contributed the least to humankind.
It is special only in the way that a retard is “special”
So every article penned by BLM has been removed? Anyone in the know regarding the falling out of BLM and MDB? This would be big, if more than 20 people visited this site.
Did MDB stop paying him the 20 cents per article? Or is BLM actually really black and this is his form of protest?
#conspiracy-theory
Some people are hiding because of their Satan inspired opinions. Seems that they don’t want to be plucked up and burned like the weeds that they are.
36 Then he left the crowd and went into the house. His disciples came to him and said, “Explain to us the parable of the weeds in the field.”
37 He answered, “The one who sowed the good seed is the Son of Man. 38 The field is the world, and the good seed stands for the people of the kingdom. The weeds are the people of the evil one, 39 and the enemy who sows them is the devil. The harvest is the end of the age, and the harvesters are angels.
40 “As the weeds are pulled up and burned in the fire, so it will be at the end of the age. 41 The Son of Man will send out his angels, and they will weed out of his kingdom everything that causes sin and all who do evil. 42 They will throw them into the blazing furnace, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. 43 Then the righteous will shine like the sun in the kingdom of their Father. Whoever has ears, let them hear.
collard greens
BLM was always just a figment of MDB’s imagination, an alter ego if you like, as am I.
Is that your Black Dog persona talking?
A fine fine picture of a French surrender monkey
?itok=B0z5Olmb
hot dog
Time to put a fork in it!