There was once a time, long, long ago, when the only source of information for the illiterate masses was word of mouth. Villagers would spend their days chatting to their neighbors and exchanging their views about the world, which were formed largely based on observation, although the religious authorities probably had quite a bit of influence over their minds too. Today however, we don’t so much get our information from our friends, neighbors and colleagues, but rather discuss what we already know to be true with them. In the old days, people had to form opinions on geopolitical issues by taking into account their observations, what their acquaintances told them and what their religious authorities told them. This could often lead to great disparities in what people believed, with isolated communities often devolving into parochial cliques with their own hyper-local concerns and viewpoints. These balkanized groups would then often clash with each other, and war would break out, because of irreconcilable differences in their fundamental beliefs and values. When you think about it, you can quickly see why having large numbers of rogue thinkers, all arriving at their own conclusions through a complex and convoluted process of unreliable gossip and indulgent, masturbatory thought and self-reflection, is just a terrible system.
Far from being enriching and empowering like racial diversity, diversity of thought usually leads to conflict. The history of Europe for example is a history of constant war between different people with different opinions. The Thirty Years’ War for instance, was one of the bloodiest conflicts the world has ever witnessed, resulting in the deaths of over eight million people – the equivalent of probably close to a billion people in today’s numbers. This war arose out of a mere disagreement between Protestants and Catholics in Central Europe, and later spread to all corners of the continent. This is a frightening example of what can happen when people devolve into fundamentalism and develop strongly held beliefs and value systems that are fundamentally opposed. When you combine zealousness and fundamentalism with testosterone, the resulting conflict is even more pronounced, and war becomes almost unavoidable. If history has taught us anything, it’s that diversity of thought and inflexibility of thought, are not only disruptive to social cohesion, but can, and often do, result in the deaths of millions of people.
Luckily, whether by accident or intention, we appear to have solved these fundamental problems as a result of industrialization. With the invention of plastics, synthetic cosmetics and various endocrine disruptors, global testosterone has fallen dramatically, resulting in a markedly more agreeable, less opinionated and less critical population. In addition, with the invention of long-distance communication technologies such as radio, television and the internet, we can now trivially program the population with radio, TV and internet “programs” to adopt a universal value system and a common set of beliefs.
With the dramatic increase in estrogen-related openness and impressionability and the rise of mass media, people now tend to believe almost exactly the same things that they all see in the media, regardless of where they live or who they are. The other great thing is that due to their elevated agreeableness, people are now able to seamlessly change their minds at the drop of a hat when the accredited media signals that the prevailing opinion has changed. Fatal disagreements have become very unlikely, as the vast majority of people now tacitly adopt the same beliefs, value systems and justifications thereof that are promoted by the media.
I’m a prime example of this. I probably watch more CNN, MSNBC and ABC than all of the AT staff combined. As the chief editor of the fastest growing accredited news site on the web, it’s my job to be as up to date as possible on what the accredited media as a whole is reporting, so that I can provide appropriate journalistic guidelines for our writers and reporters, and ensure that our reporting is in line with the same accredited narratives as the rest of the accredited media. As a progressive, it’s my job to make sure that everyone gets along, and that nobody ever disagrees about anything. Conflict is scary, dangerous and just bad for everyone, so it’s in all of our interests to simply get along and adhere to the same belief systems.
When the accredited media tells me that something is bad, like being “right wing”, “racist” or “bigoted”, then I attack anyone or anything that the accredited media labels with these adjectives. When the accredited media says that something is desirable, such as immigration, I demand more of it, and I attack anyone who opposes it. When the accredited media changes its mind, I change my mind too, and so do my readers. When I discuss politics with other people, I simply repeat the opinions and statements that I hear in the media, as if they were my own. When people deviate from the set of opinions I hear in the media, I immediately attack them. When the media is ambiguous about a topic, or doesn’t report on it, I don’t have an opinion on it, and I won’t discuss it until the media has a clear narrative on it that I can repeat.
Thanks to the mass media, everything is simple now, and people get along better than ever before. The system we have created is absolutely beautiful and elegant in its simplicity. That which the media says, I too say, and that which the media implies, I too believe. From here on outwards, I predict that there will be no more war and no more conflict, because we’ve finally reached a true age of enlightenment, in which we all agree on everything. My job, and the job of the Accredited Times, is to be an amplifier of the accredited media, and to make sure that everyone is adhering to this simple and elegant system of figuring out what to believe. Because once we achieve total and absolute conformity, we finally have a chance of achieving world peace, and what could be more important than that?
It is not your job to think for yourself. The media elite are paid handsomely to tell you how to think.
Just think of every article you’ve read from the accredited media over the past few years about racism, for instance. When there is a story about a “racist comment” that someone made, notice how the racist comment is never actually quoted by the accredited media. They have already made the determination that the comment is racist, so you do not have to be subjected to the offensive content. You can proceed with vilifying the offending individual (usually a white male) without even having to hear, read, or pass judgement on what they said. The media already did it for you!
This is the efficiency of journalism in action.
Yes. And furthermore, we also know that if the comment was racist, and insinuated for instance that there are differences between the races that members of those races aren’t happy with, then we can safely dismiss everything that person said without evaluating whether it was true. What matters whether we are allowed to say something, not whether it’s true.
Yes. Back in my days at UC Berkeley in the 60’s, we learned all about the WASP power structure and the repression of true equality. Thankfully, as a generation, we knew what had to be done: we used the Constitution to make sure pornography was ubiquitous, we promoted interracial couples on TV, we ridiculed the institution of marriage for heterosexual couples while simultaneously promoting it for homosexuals, got more womyn into the workforce, and guaranteed undocumented Americans could never be removed in large enough numbers to make a difference in the changing demographics of the country. But most importantly, we’ve also made any interpretation of the Constitution that protects things that are inherently reactionary null and void.
You’ve done a really good job of it too. I particularly like the strong conservatives from your generation who always fold to progressives when it matters.
Moreover, I think it’s really out of courage and love of country that these journalists decide to expose themselves to such toxic content so that we don’t have to. What a thankless job journalism is!
I personally believe that having ads on a site that gets a few hundred hits a day MIGHT get you a cheeseburger at the end of the year.
Then again it might only get you a side of fries
a small side!
It at least gives us a sense of accomplishment because we’re doing our part to educate the masses. Some of us have something called a conscience.
Being a practitioner of breathology, use your conscience and split your share of the fries among the other members of the AT staff
MDB breathes in CO2 and farts out O2.
Well now, you portly cartoon obsessed cretin, some of us don’t see things in terms of cheeseburgers! We seek redistributive justice for the marginalized and the downtrodden. Millennials really have no sense of history!
While I would normally have said a cheeseburger with bacon, I don’t believe that AT can afford one from its ad revenue stream.
A normal cheeseburger may be possible if everything breaks right, but the additional cost of a couple of rashers of bacon would drive the price to unreachable heights.
Go ask for it in Nigeria
This is a really good conversation to have MDB. Thankfully, as a Boomer, I am also a firm believer in the value of a liberal arts education. I think it goes hand in hand with the issue of deferring to the media when it comes to the matter of what we should personally believe ourselves. If people receive a liberal arts education that covers all of the bases as prescribed by our fact-based progressive world view, then they are ready to start a dialogue that is both productive and inclusive, all while keeping well within the boundaries of received wisdom. This way, we can all agree together on what is right and wrong. If we all agree on something, then it must be true.
It’s a pity because Karl Marx should really be taught in science classes too. His theories were, after all, scientific.
Where’s The Beef?
That’s so ageist, BLM. You should be ashamed of yourself. If I didn’t have to go on shift, I’d come right over and give you a good flagging!
Old wypipo as you call them are the mainstay of our economy. Most of my patients fall into that category, although as a professional I prefer to use the more neutral term “geriatric”.
What jobs are there nowadays for young people like you and me, except in service industries like fast food and nursing old wypipo?
Obaminy takes care of those who take care of themselves – the ultra-rich.
Ruby mother work in fast food restaurant in Boston she spitting image of womyn in Wendy commercial. Ruby mother say womyn in Wendy commercial find the beef in Prego Plus. Here is wideo proof is same womyn.
I’m dreaming of a Senate Bill to classify AT, MSLSD, ABC, CNN, ad nausea, as either munitions or hallucinogens. Use or possession to be regulated as dangerous armaments or tools of stupefaction with potential seditious or somnambulatory knock on effects.
Id rather watch reruns of Reagan speeches.
Thanks for your support Ted. It’s awful quiet where I am now, and watching reruns is about all I get to do these days. Thanks for your support.
Aww you sound so lonely, Mr Reagan.
May I come over and warm you up?
You’re a great constitutional scholar young man, but you know chicken shit about how to run a country. The reason the Soviet Union ended up in the trash can of history is because of my Star Wars program. No way could the commies match us ruble for dollar. We spent them into the ground and out of existence.
Didn’t you and Thatcher end up with mad-cow disease?
It’s not enough just to follow, you know, what the Tory press are trotting out as propaganda. They WANT you to believe that the photo of that poor kid DYING of pneumonia whilst lying on an underfunded hospital floor in an NHS hospital wasn’t really true, that it was a “left wing tactic”. Fact is that if you are British and you do vote conservative, it DOES make you a bad person. You see, even the accredited press can be fallible sometimes whereas the mere words of accredited celebrities like De Niro, Emma Watson and Emma Thompson are Allah’s truth and magisterium.
If I went both ways, I would too!
The key here is the word “accredited”. Any media outlet that doesn’t have a reasonable, sensible and common-sense progressive world view, simply isn’t accredited, and can be safely ignored along with all of the other rubbish that you read on the internet.
I’m not sweating in the 2012 pic of me and Lucy that somehow MDB is claiming as accredited anyhow ask Mummy and she’ll tell you on that very night she can vouch that I was eating cheese pizza in Woking or some other suburb where poor girls live. Now piss off I’m HRH and I’ll be the judge of what’s doctored or not!
HRH Andy eat cheese pizza in Woking, but where’s the beef?