As fall sets in, marking the transition from summer to winter, it is a chilling thought that less than six months remain before Britain officially cuts its umbillical cord to the European mainland. Like the proverbial baby in this analogy, post-Brexit Britain will endure a painful and slow death. Britons who voted en masse for national suicide will not be able to say they were not warned. Quite to the contrary: senior politicians, business leaders and other establishment figures selflessly issued warning after warning, prophetically describing the apocalypse that would follow immediately from a ‘no’ vote. In this exposé, we remind our readers once again of how the experts tried to avert national disaster before it was too late.
On 29 March 2019, assuming no deal is agreed by then with its former EU friends in Brussels, Britain will wake up to utter devastation. On awakening and opening their curtains that morning, it may appear to many Britons that nothing has changed. They will soon discover just how wrong they were, as we show in this imagined version of the Day Britain Dies.
Belfast, Northern Ireland: 07:23
Blathnaid O’Reilly put a hand to her mouth to stifle a tired yawn. By reflex, she reached out with her other hand for the TV remote on her side-table. Pointing the remote at the screen opposite her bed, she pressed “1” for BBC Breakfast News, but the TV refused to switch on.
“Jesus, Mary and Joseph”, she cursed, pressing the remote repeatedly, “why the feck won’t the eejit telly turn its feckin’ self on.” After five minutes trying everything to get the TV set to work, Blathnaid gave up and headed downstairs to make herself a cup of tea. She pushed the ‘on’ button of the kettle, but there was no light, no sound of water gradually heating up.
“Feck that, now the bleedin’ kettle’s banjaxed ‘n all!” she shouted.
What Blathnaid didn’t realise, but would have, had she listened more attentively to the BBC before: post-Brexit there would be no electricity in Northern Ireland. Not only would there be no Breakfast news to watch, there would be no cups of tea either as her electric kettle was now useless.
Bradford, West Yorkshire, England: 09:56
As usual, Mohammed Al-Jihad was the first into the ‘Glorious Martyrs Of Allah’ Kebab shop. After his brother Jalal had ‘gone missing’ when on holiday in Northern Iraq a few months previously, it had fallen to Mohammed to basically manage the joint, with just a handful of staff to help. Despite the intense competition – his was but one of fifteen kebab shops on the same street – business was good, Allah be praised.
He opened the back door, expecting to find the day’s delivery of meat from the local halal butcher, which he would use to build up the enormous skewer for the customers’ kebabs. “That’s odd’ he thought to himself, rubbing his thick black sunnah beard, “where is the meat to put on the stick? It’s not like the butcher to be late.”
The problem, however, was not any tardiness on the part of The Jihadi Butcher Company. All along the street, Mohammed’s competitors similarly found themselves without meat deliveries, all to a man rubbing their thick black sunnah beards in worried contemplation.
As he ruefully closed the door, Mohammed caught sight of an old newspaper in the far corner. He picked it up and read the headline on the front page of The Guardian:
“Brexit and the coming food crisis: ‘If you can’t feed a country, you haven’t got a country’
It was an ashen-faced Mohammed when he finished the article, coming to the realisation that he had not received the normal meat deliveries because there was an instant and total food shortage throughout the entire country. Because of Britain’s kamikaze decision to abandon the Federalist project, EU food suppliers simply refused all trade with the renegade country. The Pound Sterling, Britain’s disreputable and now worthless currency was no longer accepted in exchange for any EU goods, even though it had been for the whole period until 29 March.
COBRA emergency response meeting, Downing Street, London, 11:24
This was the biggest crisis of Theresa May’s premiership. All her worst nightmares about Brexit were coming true. Her First Secretary had awoken her shortly after 4am with stories of electricity outages and food shortages. She managed thirty more minutes of precious sleep before being informed of millions of pensioners in Spain boarding boats to return to Britain. Due to Brexit, the lack of free healthcare in Spain meant that they were now at risk of death at any moment. It was quite clear that they would all die and the Spanish government would leave their rotting corpses in the streets as an example to other EU countries of just what happens if you vote to abandon The Project. Just then May had a vision of Fraü Merkel waving a finger, saying “You vill stay in ze EU and you vill like it. Or ve vill let you perish in ze streets like dogs”.
“But they can’t have those boats”, said an anxious Theresa May, contemplating the coming arrival en masse of elderly white British citizens. “The boats are needed to transport Syrian refugees from Somalia and Eritrea! What the Hell do we do now?”
As shocking as the news had been so far that morning, things were about to take a turn for the worse. In just 24-hours, an unprecedented series of disasters would befall Britain, precisely as predicted by the wise prophets who had urged the country to vote Remain:
- All planes would be grounded (or else fall from the sky), preventing Britons from escaping their fate. Eurostar trains would also be stopped at the EU border outside France
- Human Rights disappeared in an instant, with Britain turning into a lawless state. Homophobia and transphobia would once again rear their ugly heads in the street, sending the LGBTQ+ community back firmly into their closets, quaking in fear
- Finally, just as David Cameron predicted, Third World War ensued and billions of innocent lives were extinguished in a nuclear hailstorm. All because of Brexit.
If there is any hope for the world, it is this: Brexit has not yet come about. There is still time to reverse course and for Britain to think again. The very lives of all our children, and our children’s children, depend on Britain having a Second Referendum. Please, George Soros, make it happen.
Serves them right. Ungrateful curs!!!! Multilateral trade agreements and customs unions are the foundation of free trade!
I’m of two minds about this. I’m pro free trade for white countries, but China and others having massive protectionism doesn’t seem like a problem to me.
Well who’s to say that our customs unions don’t have some form of redistributive justice built into them to account for the inherent inequity and structural oppression of whiteness. Having these customs unions like the EU would still be free trade, because we know that trade isn’t free unless we have limiting agreements about trade to make trade free, but we’ve also made sure to build in progressive redistributive measures to atone for our past transgressions. See? Libertarianism works! It’s Egalitarian, which is the only thing that matters really.
Agreed. Libertarians are the REAL liberals, as are compassionate conservatives. It’s up to libertarians to prove that they are more progressive than the Democrats, and that the Democrats are really just hypocrites who don’t really believe in their stated principles. We all believe in egalitarianism, no matter where we stand on the political spectrum – we’re all just competing to be the REAL egalitarians.
Exactly. That why my favorite pundit Dinesh D’Souza put out an awesome documentary explaining why democrats are the real racist Nazis. Our brand of family values Egalitarianism is better than theirs!!!!!!
Yes – Democrats are the REAL racists! Conservatives need to prove that they are really liberal.
I want a moneyless world, but I do live with a little bit of money for now. I don’t get any money from YouTube anymore, but I’m getting $66.64 per month from donors through Patreon. Plus I’ve received some money from cat sitting. I presently have $1,000 in a credit union for emergencies, too. I am able to live comfortably off little money by keeping my expenses low. I have no bills at all. I’ve been couch surfing for four years now. No cell phone. I just use my laptop to contact people. My only expenses are food and public transportation. Sometimes I go dumpster diving with friends and get lots of food that way. Sometimes I walk instead of taking the bus. I am very grateful to everyone who lets me stay with them. Not working at jobs lets me focus on my art and activism.
Too bad it’s not enough to raise a family John. It’s going to be a pity to see your genetic line end.
SCENARIO:
1) UK seeks to defend itself from, say Russia, to delay Brexit, for national security purposes.
2) UK appeals to the UN / NATO to authorize an allied war against Russia.
3) Despite EU countries being on board, Trump, in cahoots with Russia, instructs Nikki Haley & Kay Hutchison to block UK’s request.
4) 9th Circuit Court of Appeals affirms a case against the Trump Administration that he has overstepped Executive power by blocking war against a country during an open special counsel investigation involving he and instigating country, Russia.
5) Justice Brett Kavanaugh is the key swing vote on the Supreme Court to overturn the 9th Circuit’s decision on the Trump Administration.
6) Brexit goes on.
7) UK is unable to defend itself against Russian aggression and is dismantled.
#RejectKavanaugh
#KavaNOPE
More and more news stories are coming out now revealing that Russia was behind Brexit all along. It’s amazing that Russia seems to be more interested in the independence of other countries than the people of those countries themselves! Putin really is playing some kind of 5D chess here. I’m not sure what his game is, but I’m sure it’s nothing that a hypersonic nuke couldn’t sort out.
This is a sad day… Russia wins again 🙁
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Your imagined stories really bring this impending disaster to life, Pbier – I’m going to be having nightmares about this now. This is a disaster not just for Britain, but also for the rest of the world. Many people from around the world dream of coming to Britain in order to get welfare or a good-paying job that otherwise would have gone to a racist white Brit. It is in the interests of the whole world that countries like Britain remain open to infinite immigration, allowing the country to continue to become a huge shopping mall full of chain stores and people from various parts of the world who are only there for personal material gain.
If the Brits go ahead with a “hard” Brexit, in which they actually leave the EU (which in my opinion is not what the Brits actually voted for), then they will pay the price, as a myriad of unrelated disasters ensue. If you look at Britain 200 years ago before the EU existed, they had daily food shortages, regular natural disasters, a crumbling economy, a failing education system and little to no global influence. Getting rid of the EU would take Britain back to the stone age, and it’s up to us to stop that from happening.
One thing I didn’t cover in my article -and I hope to Allah this never happens -is a possible fall in house prices in the United Kingdom. Were this to happen (and I’m not actually THAT gloomy), it could lead to the loss of millions of jobs in the vital real estate agency business.
Of course, we mustn’t get carried away. Let me stress that it’s highly unlikely that house prices would fall, or middle class people stop talking about property prices around a dinner table, but I throw it out there as a possible outlier.
This is a very real risk, and an absolutely dreadful one. The idea that boomers should lose home equity and have to cut back on their retirements is just too awful to imagine. Property prices, like the stock market, need to rise in perpetuity to keep the population growing richer and happier. If millennials are worried about paying 30x their income to buy a gloomy flat in London, then they should consider getting one of those special first-time buyer’s interest-only mortgages with only 5% down – then you don’t even need to pay that much.
MV = PT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The velocity of money must be held steady! We need to inflate the money supply by 3% annually to avoid a drop in the velocity of money!
Yes, it makes sense to have a “targeted” inflation rate, produced by creating money out of thin air and crediting it to politically connected primary dealer banks who get to make a free profit by lending it out at higher rates and getting bailed out when things go wrong. Any economist who doesn’t accept this as normal and justified is obviously crazy.
If only I had a printing press like that, then I wouldn’t have to cut down trees for a living, or get blinded at the weekend keeping ships off the rocks!
Brexit is basically selfishness and greed marketed as ‘right to national self-determination, which I find the real tragedy. We could achieve so much more if we look out for others. Whenever I’ve been tempted to act in my personal self interest, I remember the paraplegic orphan in Ethiopia I try to support with whatever I have left over each month from my social worker job. It’s not much but I for one don’t need more material possessions thank you very much!
Wow, you’re such a good person Virtue Sgnaller. I donate to a Save the Rhino fund every month, in addition to Red Cross. Did you know that the white Rhino is going to go extinct, unless middle class progressives like me step up to the plate and do something to save it? Some people tell me that the white race is going extinct too – but I know enough about history to know that the white race isn’t worth saving.
This article about Brexit got me worried. They can keep all the planes grounded for all I care, but I don’t want them falling out of the sky. My lighthouse is right under the flight path, and I’m on duty this weekend!
Frankly, if Britain gets a hard Brexit I think we’ll have bigger things to worry about than that, Logger. Many experts have predicted that Britain will split into many pieces and drift off into the ocean unless a deal is struck with the EU.
I don’t know whether you noticed, but Britain is already spit into many pieces in the ocean, it’s a small nation of many islands in the Atlantic Ocean. Striking a Brexit deal with the EU is the worst thing that could happen. It will only increase the paperwork for weekend lighthouse keepers like me. As if we didn’t have enough already!
Vittoria Nuland say it best – f$$k the EU.
Someone needs to put your meat on a stick.