Why You Should Join A Modern Fitness Gym

In Current Year, maintaining a presentable physical appearance is no longer seen as a priority. People who are “big-boned” no longer feel stigmatized and pressured into ‘losing weight’. As the entire Western World embraces the super-size look, fashions too are changing for the better.  Compare, the two photos below, for example.  Against an uptight 1950s couple with uncomfortably tight and bland-colored clothing, we have the vibrant-colored, ‘looser fit’ garments that are very much in vogue in the 2010s.

Being ‘overweight’ (to use an old-fashioned term) is perfectly normal, if not outright healthy. There comes a point, however, when a man or womyn who weighs say 300 pounds is happy with their figure and has no wish to lose/ gain any more. They have spent literally tens or hundreds of dollars on clothes that hang shapelessly loose perfectly and will be good for the next 30 years, provided their body shape remains the same. How then do they avoid putting on any more weight?

The answer is to join a modern fitness gym, just as many people choose to do each year on January 1st. In exchange for an annual subscription fee of several thousands of dollars, you get unlimited access to the latest fitness technology, sophisticated weights-machines, treadmills with innovative screens, and a FREE towel each time you use the gym.

The great thing with modern gyms is that you don’t even need to use any of this equipment.   If your energy levels are low, why not hang out in the café area and treat yourself to an ice-cream milkshake AND a large soy latte? The point about gyms is to go to them, not necessarily to bust a gut.

The philosophy behind modern gyms is radically different to previous notions of ‘fitness’, ‘strength-training’ and ‘exercise’. As our scientific knowledge has increased, and we understand better the physiology of the human body, gyms have been able to adapt accordingly.

If you were to go back in time and enter a 1960s gym, it would look positively sparten by today’s standards. You might keep some free weights, bars (e.g. for manual pull-ups, gymnastics), plenty of floor space and mats etc.  All of these rely essentially on body weight and gravity, which kind of restricts the exercises you can do.  In the absence of sophisticated machines costing many thousands of dollars, you were basically limited to sit-ups, pull-ups, push-ups, lunges, squats, burpees, tuck-jumps etc. Who would want to pay thousands of dollars in a gym subscription in order to do exercises you could do perfectly well at home?!

Exactly.

Modern gyms are way better than old-school gyms and have only the very most expensive equipment in them. Take the treadmill, for example.  In the past, people used to run or cycle outdoors in the fresh air, which was actually considered ‘healthy’. We now know, however, that exposure to sunlight is highly carcinogenic and that, far from being ‘fresh’, modern air is full of pollutants such as carbon dioxide and dangerous particles from combustion engines. It is therefore twenty times safer and healthier for all to drive to the gym in your 4×4 and use the treadmill or static bike.

Once installed on the treadmill, you will find that running is surprisingly easy and seems to require minimal effort. At my gym,  I regularly witness womyn being able to write text messages, take phone calls, take ‘selfies’ in front of the mirror…all without breaking any sweat! Given that treadmill screens now allow you to watch films, sports, listen to music etc. it’s a wonder that anybody would choose to run outside instead! For these reasons, the treadmill is by far the most popular machine in the gym.

One machine to avoid at all costs is the rowing machine, especially the ‘Concept2’ models.  They are unnecessarily hard work and can actually lead to rapid weight loss, not to mention the elevated heart rate that will result from the exertion.  It’s also extremely tricky to master the technique and you would be far better off sitting in a warm jaccuzi to unwind. If you do use a Concept2, however, it can be helpful for perfecting the pelvic thrust as this man demonstrates (ignore the ‘fail’ description, the person posting the video hasn’t got a clue):

Finally, modern gyms all employ helpful and well-qualified instructors who possess an encyclopaedic understanding of human physiology, know to prevent injuries (through the misuse of machines, for example), and are all perfectly charming.

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