Why Harvesting The Sun Is The Answer To Our 21st Century Energy Needs

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In recent years, almost all oil majors have been quietly diversifying away from the production of gasoline, diesel and other fossil fuels, until now representing the bulk of their revenues.  The likes of Exxon, Shell, BP, Total etc. have invested massively in renewable fuels which now account for a significant percentage of the average American household’s energy source.

The majors’ change in strategy reflects the market-based reality that consumer demand for environmentally ‘unfriendly’ products is dwindling while demand for ‘clean’ and ‘sustainable’ energy sources (wind, solar etc.) is rising fast and showing no signs of a let-off. Some of the ‘new’ renewable energies introduced to the market have been incredibly imaginative; in 2017, for example, the largest oil company in the world, Exxon, announced exciting progress with algae energy. According to its press release at the time:

We remain convinced that synthetic biology holds crucial answers to unlocking the potential of algae as a renewable energy source,…We look forward to continued work with ExxonMobil so that eventually we will indeed have a viable alternative energy source…This key milestone in our advanced biofuels program confirms our belief that algae can be incredibly productive as a renewable energy source with a corresponding positive contribution to our environment.”

Although we must never let the oil majors off the hook for their historic climate genocides, and the production of hydrocarbons which has created today’s climate emergency, we must agree that clean energy is the way forward. We are at the same time convinced that ever-greater advancements in the field of renewable energy lay just ahead.

There is a firm consensus amongst climate protestors that we are facing a climate emergency. The debate and science are settled, all that remains is for us to do Something now

Although we are firm fans (no pun intended) of wind turbines, which are among the most efficient producers of energy today, we are much more excited about the possibilities afforded by solar power. Although most people connect ‘solar energy’ with very recent developments with pholtovoltaic panels, the truth is that personkind harnessed the energy of the sun as early as the 7th century BC when people used sunlight to light fires with magnifying materials.

We find inspiration from Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez’s Green New Deal. Following her encouragement to think boldly, the logical next step in harnessing the sun’s energy is to harvest the sun itself, i.e. to undertake a manned expedition to the surface of the sun and bring parts of it back to Earth. As most people know, the Sun uses nuclear fusion to convert hydrogen-1 into helium-4 and has a virtually inexhaustible supply of hydrogen-1 as fuel. Harvesting the sun’s fuel for our own purposes would quite literally provide us with a natural and clean energy source for all eternity.

Of course, any attempt to harvest the sun is not without its risks. Detractors of this bold proposition cite all manner of arguments as to “why it simply cannot be done”. These are the same types of naysaying pessimists, however, who scoffed at the idea that humanity would ever walk on the Moon, on Mars on so on.  And yet, this very week, we celebrate the 50th anniversary of personkind taking the first steps on Mars’ red surface!

Advances in scientific understanding and technical discoveries now mean that we have a realistic chance of harvesting the sun and so supplying all our energy needs for centuries to come. Let us, however, answer some of the more common counter-arguments to sun-harvesting:

  1. The sun is ‘too hot‘ – This objection is quite ironic given that opponents of the lunar mission claimed at the time that the moon’s atmosphere would be ‘too cold’ for human survival!  It’s amusing to recall now that some critics thought that Louis Armstrong would freeze spontaneously when he emerged from Apollo 11. Sure, the surface of the Sun is way hotter than almost anything we have on Earth and needs to be approached with caution.  Recent decades have seen tremendous progress being made in the design and construction of advanced composite materials such as orgenite that are heat resistant to temperatures well beyond anything the Sun can throw at it.  As an additional safety precaution, we suggest that the solar expedition is delayed until mid-winter, when the Sun’s temperatures are at their lowest, and to launch from one of the Earth’s poles.
  2. Extracting matter from the Sun will diminish precious/ scarce Solar resources – in other words, if you remove part of the Sun, you make it smaller which could have all sorts of unimagined consequences. Of all the objections, this is perhaps the most scatterbrained and scientifically-ignorant! Did you know that the Sun is around 109 times the diameter of the Earth and that you could fit around 1,300,000 planet Earths inside the Sun? The amount of Solar material which we would need to harvest for our own needs is insignificant and would have no lasting effects on the Sun.
  3. It’s too expensive/ we don’t have the budget for Solar exploration – last time I checked, we had a printing press that allowed us to create as much wealth as we need for important infrastructure projects. More critically, the very survival of humanity requires us to ditch fossil fuels foresover and devise radical solutions to reverse climate change. So, the real question is: can we afford NOT to harvest the Sun?

If scientific endeavour and inventions over the centuries has taught us anything, it’s this: the seemingly impossible today becomes almost mundane tomorrow.  It’s clear that harvesting the sun’s unlimited supplies of hydrogen-1 and having natural nuclear fusion for our energy needs is the way forward.  It might also be the one thing that gets Greta Thunberg back to her education!

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Mules-Proof of Allah\'s Kindness
Mules-Proof of Allah\'s Kindness

Allah is way ahead of the curve

He uses the sun as a foot warmer after it sets.

Light bulb by day! Foot warmer by night! Dual use is the best!

Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) one day asked: Do you know where the sun goes? They replied: Allah and His Messenger know best, He (the Holy Prophet) observed: Verily it (the sun) glides till it reaches its resting place under the Throne. Then it falls prostrate and remains there until it is asked: Rise up and go to the place whence you came, and it goes back and continues emerging out from its rising place and then glides till it reaches its place of rest under the Throne and falls prostrate and remains in that state until it is asked: Rise up and return to the place whence you came, and it returns and emerges out from its rising place and then it glides (in such a normal way)

“under” should actually be translated as “beneath” – a rulers throne is obviously in a raised location and people visiting go before it and bow down – and before the throne and also beneath the throne!

The alternate version would be it actually goes underneath the seat and acts as an ass warmer, but this version has only a minimal following, as the sun can also serve as a foot rest when bowing down before (and beneath) the throne! Ass warmers are in lower demand then foot warmers.

To actually go underneath the throne before prostating (bowing) also implies that Allah throne is on stilts – and higher then sun tall to boot! A throne on stilts is much less majestic then the standard massive block like version.

Ronald Reagan
Ronald Reagan

You don’t fool me, with your rainbow script!

Mules-Proof of Allah\'s Kindness
Mules-Proof of Allah\'s Kindness

Good thing!

I am actually a libertarian masquerading as a rainbow!

MillionDollarBonus

It’s interesting that despite being such a great source of “energy”, the sun still doesn’t have any significant effect on the climate. All climate models that determine that the sun is more important than greenhouse gasses have been shown to be flawed, which is why the accredited media doesn’t reference them, and why climate protesters are unaware of them. This is a great idea Pbier. It’s one of those ideas that’s so simple and profound that you wonder why no-one ever thought of it before.

MillionDollarBonus

Some conspiracy theorists are even doubting whether North Korea’s nuclear weapons actually work. These people simply can’t accept that communism works.

ExpatLogger
ExpatLogger

Sun-breaking article, Pbier!

This is why discerning readers always come to Accredited Times first for the news. All the other news organizations are still stuck on Mars.

ExpatLogger
ExpatLogger

On a more personal note, even all those years ago, when I was just a twinkle in my parents eyes, I still remember the outrage I felt about critics saying Louis Armstrong would freeze spontaneously when he emerged from Apollo 11. I guess this is why they selected his brother Neal instead, and the only person to have step foot on another planet is a white man. But I have plans to fix that!

Missy
Missy

That mixed-race Armstrong family was so talented, producing a top black jazz musician and white astronaut in the same litter. I only keep black sheep on my hill farm now, because they are much more attractive than the white ones, but I might just put a white ram among them to see what happens!

Ronald Reagan
Ronald Reagan

You don’t fool me, with your Clovenhoof Kalergi plan!

Standard Redneck
Standard Redneck

Planned Parenthood wants to harvest your son.

Juan From 2234
Juan From 2234

Harvesting the sun is child’s play but you won’t ever understand that in your lifetime.

I am grateful that you put dates on your articles. It is very helpful for us time travelers.

I see that you are on the brink of the Trump dictatorial empire that took over the Western World. You are in for a rough 40 years, but things will get better.

Mules-Proof of Allah\'s Kindness
Mules-Proof of Allah\'s Kindness

BNN Update

Due to filthy habits of the Chinese, African swine fever continues to spread and kill off Chinese pigs. Chinese farmers, not being ably to get anything from the two face Chinese Communist government – except possibly getting arrested for reporting the disease – have rushed pigs to slaughter resulting in abundant, but likely diseased, supplies of pork and all important bacon for Chinese consumers.

However the rush to slaughter is now over and Chinese pork (and bacon) supplies are now dropping resulting in higher prices.

Chinese retail pork prices reached 26.45 yuan per kg in the final week of June, up 33% on the year, according to weekly data from the Ministry of Agriculture and Rural Affairs

With Chinese tariffs at over 60% for our beloved US pork products, the time is near when Chinese prices will jump higher that that 60% level making it cost effective for the RAVENOUS CHINESE COMMUNIST HORDES to import US pork and bacon products thereby depriving Americans of the products of patriotic American farmers.

It is therefore incumbent upon all bacon loving Americans to contact our President Trump and DEMAND he impose further tariffs on Chinese goods. This will force China to respond with even higher tariffs on our all important pork and bacon products.

Screw the Pinko Commie Chinks and SAVE OUR BACON!!!!!!!!!!

As a fallback plan, please consider purchasing a freezer unit and stocking up during bacon sales.

This has been a BNN update!

Bacon News Network is your “go to” site for all things bacon!

TedCruz
TedCruz

A better solution, albeit almost as desperate as this story, is re-educating nuts about group-think hoaxes like anthropomorphic climate change. Don’t worry, be happy; we have plenty of coal.

Say it 100x!!!

Stick Your Proof In My Pudding
Stick Your Proof In My Pudding

Climate change is no hoax. You, of all people, should know this after the devastating storms that have rocked the Gulf Coast, including Texas, over the past couple of years.

TedCruz
TedCruz

Don’t worry, be happy…

Doubleplusgood Duckspeaker

Racism

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